Wednesday, May 29, 2013

The Dreaded "D-word"

First, as usual, sorry for the lack of blog posts...it has been a long time!

There has been a lot going on as we prep for Baby #2, work fulltime, handle our two year old, our house and life...but I can say that the thing that has been on my mind the most is the 'dreaded D-word.'  About a month ago I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes.  I know it isn't the end of the world.  Also, my doctors and nurses keep telling me it was nothing I did and it can happen to anyone --although my genepool certainly doesn't help.   But the truth is, it still consumes me and gets me a little down.

The way I have been describing it to people is that it is mainly just annoying.  It's actually been going well and my numbers have been fine.  But it is something I need to think about a lot and it pretty much took over my life.  It started with a meeting with the Diabetes Educator.  I don't know if you have experienced this or not but when I met with this perfectly nice woman, I felt like I was in 2nd grade again.  Looking at a food chart and answering questions about how much pasta should be on my plate and what veggies can I add instead.  Don't get me wrong, it was helpful...I just felt stupid.  I was also over emotional...being pregnant and also fearing the effects all this could have on our son.

Since that meeting, I find myself thinking about food, carbs, walking, the clock and blood sugars all the time.  I'm trying to find the balance between enough carbs/healthy eating for the baby and too many carbs/high blood sugars.  My biggest concern is doing the right thing for the baby.  I also need to test my sugar levels four times a day (once in the morning and then one hour after each meal).  Here again, it's not horrible, just time consuming and annoying.  I believe I'm also to the point of obsession.  I admitted to my student worker the other day that pretty much any digital number makes me think of blood sugars.  In fact, the other day I was driving on 35W through Minneapolis and saw the digital Power Ball Jackpot sign lit up as 156 million.  The first thing I thought of..."Oh, 156, that's a little high.  It should be under 140."  Good grief.

However, I can't and shouldn't complain too much.  It has gone pretty well so far (however, I fear the end of the pregnancy is more difficult).  My numbers have been fine.  I can manage it with diet and some walking.  I had my monthly meeting with the Diabetes Educator again yesterday and she said I don't need to come back unless my numbers get higher.  But she thinks I have some "wiggle room" as  I have been between 110 and 135 after most meals.  Also, HOPEFULLY, this will end after the baby is born.  But this is also where the not so great genepool kicks in...my mom and sister were not able to get rid of it.  I also have a 50-60% higher chance of getting full Type 2 Diabetes later in life.  So, overall, this is a HUGE wake up call...annoying or not, this is my life and diabetes is part of it -at least on some level.

I'm going to try to be thankful for the wake up call and not complain too much about counting carbs and testing blood sugars.